Maybe you glanced at the news today and caught this gem coming out of Jonesville, S.C., where Pastor Roger Byrd of the Jonesville Church of God had got himself to thinking about the current presidential campaigns and just who these candidates thought they were. But it seems that Mr. Byrd didn’t get much further than sounding out their names before he realized that the name “Obama” rhymes with “Osama”. And that Osama Bin Laden was a bad, bad man.
Well, Roger kept a-thinkin’ and a-thinkin’. Purty soon he came up with another whopper. What if – now just WHAT IF – Obama was RELATED to Osama?!?
At this point, he probably decided against the council of his Big City brother, who might have advised him “Roger, that’s spine-crushingly stupid. Obama is a last name. Osama is a first name. This is so dumb I feel vaguely nauseous.” and headed straight to his church in order to make up the sign you see in the photo above.
I can’t vouch for any of the story you’ve just read being true, mind you. But there’s this coming straight from Mr. Byrd’s beak:
Roger than flapped his arms and said “Look at me! My name is Byrd! I’m a bird! Wheeeee!” and leapt to his death from the church steeple.
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Ahh, South Carolina. She will always be North Carolina’s redheaded step-child, won’t she?
And for the life of me I will never understand how having a non-Christian in the White House could be worse than having a Christian who didn’t do anything to prevent Osama’s attack and then has effectively pushed Bin Laden to the outskirts of foreign policy so much that he feels more like the answer to a trivia question than the most wanted man in the world…
This kind of stuff just gets me angry, not that that takes much these days. Just the idea that some people are so willing to stop right outside the door of Thought but never dare venture inside baffles me. Well, maybe it’s not so baffling, but it invites an attempt to imagine being in such a mind, and it’s a damned uncomfortable place to be. Sure. Osama, Obama. There’s only one letter’s difference. If that’s as far as you’re going to go on the matter of a serious candidate for president of the United States, I’d say your vote would count as much as a precocious 5-year old’s. Probably less. Simply envisioning a conversation with one of these people makes me sad and angry. Well. As George Will says, 50% of the country is above average intelligence, the other 50% is below average intelligence. As it ever was, so it ever shall be. We’ll never be rid of this sort of happy ignorance.
It’s also amazing that Byrd characterizes this as something that is supposed to be thought-provoking. I’ve thought longer and harder about stop signs.