The following review is written as part of the Final Girl Film Club.

Zombie knows that we know that he knows that we know everything about ‘Halloween’. And as much as Zombie has made ‘Halloween’ his own, he can’t escape the fact that every frame is a reference to the original. So he takes the same story and opens a different window on it, sets up his camera in some different places (most of the time) and expands the universe of Michael Myers… somewhat. See, for all the universe expanding, there is an equal measure of direct lifts from the original ‘Halloween’ that serve to be-suck what good stuff he’s pulled together.

And I’ll probably go all SPOILERS on you, so stop reading if you care.

The whole she-bang starts off with a REALLY shrill, cliché white trash family dynamic that’s about as off-putting as Michael’s first major action of the movie, which happens at about the same time. So you’ve got this terribly written scene in the kitchen with a lot of bad swears and screaming vs. a great sequence which is handled with taste and restraint. It’s suggested, very short, very economical. It just plays out and it stays with you.

This is where most of the universe expansion comes into play, watching the young Michael grow up, filling in the blanks created by Loomis’ lines in the original:

LOOMIS
…I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left, no conscience, no reason, no understanding, in even the most rudimentary sense, of life or death or right or wrong. I met this six-year-old boy with a blank, cold emotionless face and the blackest of eyes, the devil’s eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him and another seven trying to keep him locked away when I realized what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely, simply evil.

Reading over this now, I realize Zombie didn’t follow this to the letter and thank God he didn’t. It would’ve been painfully boring. It’s a great line for the original, because the original treated Michael like death itself, like a plague, like the boogie man. He had no reason or backstory or motive. This movie, not so much. Michael is a person here. Not a better person, mind you, but he’s human.

But lo, for then I was doubly vexed to find that all the talk of the “boogie man” was left in. At first I thought it was because this movie was sort of ‘Halloween’ through the looking glass – the same story, but from Michael’s point of view. So all the same stuff happens, except now we watch Michael the killing man instead of Michael the killing machine.

But even that’s not true and that’s why I’ve chasing this review around like the million blind kittens it is. If this was truly from Michael’s point of view, then we wouldn’t see the scenes that set up Laurie and her friends; we wouldn’t see Loomis go to Sheriff Brackett and try to convince him that evil has come to his little hamlet. If these direct lifts were just reminders, wouldn’t Zombie, who has come up with so much new stuff here, at least put a new spin on things? I’m thinking along the lines of ‘Back to the Future II’ (and who isn’t, I wonder?)

It feels an awful lot like these scenes are in the movie purely for the fans, to provide some kind of nostalgic kick. Or maybe Sherrie Moon called Rob to bed, so he jotted down “Then they do what happened in the original.” There’s no real difference outside of the distressed look and it feels hackish.

For example:

It’s difficult to tell which movie this still came from and that’s a shame. Remakes like “Amityville Horror” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” are hack jobs and never tried to be anything but. They’re old furniture with a new coat of Michael Bay stain. Zombie’s gone to the trouble rebuilding the chair, but used some of the old upholstery.

And then there’s the ending, one of the best endings of a horror movie I’ve seen in a long time.

Scout Taylor-Compton, absolutely bland as Laurie Strode, delivers the line you’ve heard a million times – “Was that the boogie man?” – and then the ending begins. There’s a connection Michael feels with his younger sister, Laurie, and it plays out nicely in the scene in the basement. That goes badly and there’s a good 5 or 6 minutes of cat-and-mouse that feels beneath this movie, like something out of one of the other sequels. But then it comes down to Laurie, Michael and a gun. That’s when Zombie gives me the ending I’ve been wanting to see since I saw the first ‘Scream’. It’s hard to describe how pitch perfect this last moment is, but I’ll probably rent this just to see it again. And best of all, there’s no obvious sequel suggested – this movie leaves us almost zero options. And that’s a big plus right there.

Also on the plus side – Zombie takes all of this very seriously and manages to steer well clear of pretentiousness. He really hit a sweet spot here. And the young Michael is a great casting choice – with his weird moon face and awkward mop of blonde hair. Sherrie Moon Zombie is the best she’s ever been. I felt a little embarrassed watching her in ‘The Devil’s Rejects’, sort of feeling like, ya know, okay – the director’s wife is pretty and she wants to be in movies. But here she owns this part purty dang hard. You’ve also got that mask, that is introduced a little awkwardly, but when it is found later and is starting to disintegrate – what a great look. Then there’s Danielle Harris, completely wasted as Annie and should’ve so obviously played Laurie.

In the end, it’s a fine movie, easily the best of Zombie’s. Also easily the best of the recent remakes. And probably the second best of the ‘Halloween’ series. If only more filmmakers would follow in Zombie’s footsteps. Hopefully, ‘Halloween’s huge opening will cause studio heads to ask for remakes that change things up, in which case Rob Zombie will be my number one horror hero.